Adventures in Morning Coffee
by The Page Of Cups
Summary: Why Omi should never let Yohji take him out for coffee...


The trouble with only getting two hours of sleep was it somehow meant feeling even more tired on waking. Unfortunately, Omi had to take what he could; it was hard enough to find time for sleep without deliberately skipping it. He yawned into his hand as he made his way down to the communal kitchen. Aya would be awake in his room, getting ready to open shop with him. Ken would be sleeping in, and Yohji was probably just going to bed.

That had been Omi's assumption, at least, until he entered the kitchen and found Yohji crouched eye-level with the coffee maker.

"Yohji-kun. I'm surprised to see you up. It's nearly 7."

Yohji voiced a noise of frustration back-- which Omi assumed to be his way of acknowledging him-- then straightened and set his hands on his hips. Omi noticed lines over his furrowed eyebrows, a wrinkle at the corner of his mouth.

"I hope you weren't planning on having some coffee, chibi. This thing is toast."

"Ehhh?" Omi felt the budding of panic in his stomach-- oh hell no. "It can't be! It was working fine yesterday!" He hurried to the counter and checked the appliance for any obvious damage. Nothing. Yohji was right; it wasn't starting.

Well, there wasn't much that could go wrong with a coffee maker. It was probably an issue with the power switch connection-- not something he could fix while half-asleep and short on time. He moaned and rolled his head towards the ceiling.

"What'll I do? I can't go the rest of the day without any caffeine!"

Yohji closed his eyes with a sigh and threaded his fingers through his hair. "I'd wanted to be a little more awake for my breakfast date but, I think some cold water will last me until I can order some there."

He was awful. Standing there talking about the coffee _he'd_ get either way. Omi dropped his head.

"It can't be helped, can it? I'll have to go out and buy some from McDonald's."

"Hohh?" Yohji lifted an eyebrow, then tsked. "I guess you must be desperate. Their coffee is as cheap as their food. Let me give you some advice," he said. "Go to Starbucks. That's real coffee."

"That's also expensive."

"And," he pressed, training his eyes more heavily on Omi. "For someone who drinks coffee as a substitute for breakfast, you should at least make it good coffee."

Omi's mouth thinned into a pout. So he didn't get hungry until a few hours after waking. Big deal.

"Come on," Yohji smiled. "I'll drive you..."

Omi's eyes widened. "You just want an excuse to go there yourself."

"Don't be ridiculous." Yohji's smile never faltered as he leaned down, resting one hand on Omi's shoulder and winking. "I don't need an excuse." He stood back up and fished into his pocket. Keys clinked. "I'm going with or without you, Omitchi. Don't wear out your welcome."

Omi had to admit that a free ride to good coffee sounded better than a walk to cheap coffee. And he needed to be back soon to help open the shop. He sighed and followed Yohji to his car.

Something warm jostled his shoulder. Omi jumped and looked around. Yohji's car. Drive-thru. What?

"Double shot of espresso for you, I think."

_I fell asleep._

"Can you make it triple?"

Yohji smiled but didn't say anything. Instead, he placed their order and took to flirting with the girl at the window. Honestly. On his way to a breakfast date with another girl and hitting on the clerk.

"Do you have any shame?" He asked as Yohji passed him a cup.

"Now, is that any way to talk to the guy that just treated you to coffee?"

Omi frowned, because he wasn't coherent enough to figure out any suitable justification. It was just wrong. "Still."

"It's a crime to not acknowledge the beautiful things in life when you see them. Maybe one day you'll--... no. You three are all hopeless cases."

"You're..." Omi said, wrenching his expression as he struggled to pop the sipping cap from the lid. "The one that's hopeless."

Yohji lifted an eyebrow.

"Am I now?" He asked as he pulled out of the drive-thru. "Who's losing to a piece of plastic?"

"It's stuck. It won't--!"

Omi's voice shot up two octaves mid-scream. Lid popped off, coffee splashed-- right into his lap.

Yohji jerked to a halt in the parking lot and shoved his napkin at Omi. "Careful, baka!"

Omi didn't really hear him. Steaming coffee on his legs wouldn't have been so bad, if _only_ it could have been on his legs. He pulled the wet fabric away from his skin, only a minor relief as air filtered in through the legs of his shorts.

Yohji cranked up the air conditioner and aimed the vents at Omi's lap, unable to help a wince at the soaked fly. His voice softened. "Jeez. You're not safe in the mornings. I hope you weren't planning on having children one day."

Omi managed a whimper. The air conditioner felt good. Thank goodness Yohji was a quick thinker. Even so, this was not the ideal way to wake up.

"I'll be fine. It just hurts."

"Well, you could always sue for a few million dollars and retire early."

"Let's just go home, please."

Yohji started driving again. Good-- the sooner they were back, the sooner he could change shorts and check the damage. It didn't feel like it was that bad, just a nasty shock to the system.

When they arrived, Yohji shut off the car and sighed, casting a look at him that Omi thought almost looked sympathetic. "Going to be all right?"

Omi nodded. "Sorry for spilling it in your car."

"Actually, it looks like it all went in your lap. Lucky you," Yohji said, and Omi couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. No stain damage to Yohji's car was definitely a good thing.

Of course, leather seats were pretty easy to wipe off, and as much as the man smoked, he'd probably never notice any faint lingering aroma of triple-shot espresso. He must have been using sarcasm.

Omi had a few moments to sip his coffee as he followed Yohji back inside. Aya was in the kitchen now, scanning the morning paper over his breakfast. It probably would have only been a brief look their way had a wet stain on Omi's crotch not captured his attention. Omi followed his quizzical expression down and paled in horror. Oh shit.

And Yohji had that twinkle in his eyes. Double shit.

"That's our Omi," he shrugged at Aya with a smile. "Can't take him anywhere."

"Was there an accident?"

"Oh, yeah. That guy's got something really hot in his pants," he winked.

He narrowly ducked Omi's flying shoe.


End file.
